Wednesday, 14 June 2017

Day 695 - Habit to turn on tv


This is a habit of mine. I come home from somewhere, perhaps have something to eat and turn on the tv. Actually, it’s more accurate to say I turn on the tv then do other stuff. Just having it on in the background even. Lol why have it on if I’m not actually using it? That is why I see it’s just a habit. Even generally, I just turn it on a lot. Not as much as I used to, but I still tend to - so basically I’m seeing that I’m reliant on a tv. But I could be doing other things. I could be watching certain things that are more beneficial for example. Or do something different entirely that my time can be better used for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to develop a habit of using the tv to make me feel at ease/at peace/comfortable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into automation whereas I just turn the tv on despite not even using the tv for it’s intended purpose as watching something or listening to something and simply just having it on in the background whilst I do other things, all because I’ve grown accustomed to the tv being on despite me not wanting to watch anything in particular, just the sound/visuals make me feel ‘at home’.

I commit myself to break this tv on always habit of mine and instead make sure I actually only turn the tv on if I’m going to watch something/listen to something that first of all I want to watch/listen to that I see is effective for myself.

I commit myself to explore other activities besides turning on the tv for watching/listening, within this, not to create more habits as being reliant/my go to things to do, but so I can see for myself that there are many things I can do and enjoy doing and learn from etc and I can utilise all of these for myself.

When and as I see myself desiring to turn the tv on despite knowing deep within myself that I don’t want it actually on and I’m not using it genuinely/self-honestly, I stop and breathe. I commit myself to find something to do that is effective for myself, yes it may be to watch or listen to something, but that is as always, a self-honest decision that I make in that moment - so herein I commit myself not to turn on the tv and first thus to investigate for myself what it is I want to do and then do it.

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2 comments:

  1. Cool, Anthony! I can actually relate - growing up in a house where t.v. was ALWAYS on, it is like a point of comfort/companionship even... like a crutch in fear of the silence! lol - enjoy the silence ;)

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    1. Lol very true Kristina! Thanks for sharing.
      What I also realised was that I used this tv on most times method to aid in my feeling of loneliness. Whereas the sounds of humans talking on tv made me feel..as I said here, as comfort etc...So I've used it as an aid to feel like I belong in a way...to not be so lonely. I'll be writing this out too soon.

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